"How could a loving God allow this to happen?"

It must be awful to be an atheist. This life must seem so unfair and unjust, careering onwards into nothingness. Why bother being good? Why bother being unselfish? To what end? Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die! It's almost a vicious circle for atheists, as perceived injustice in this life may reinforce unbelief in a loving God. "How could a loving God allow this to happen?"

The truth is so much different. Consider a horizon line. All acts in this life, for the atheist, end at this line. To the unbelieving mind, loose ends are not tied up, people seem to get away with so much, while the innocent suffer. Great disasters happen, how can that be fair?

To the believing mind, the horizon line is not the end. The acts and events of this life go past this visible line, into the invisible, and all things converge and are accounted for in eternity. This is where justice is completed and reconciled. Even if this life is unfair, and we experience pain, for the believer there is always this faith in final justice that keeps us strong, always a knowledge that every second of our life is important to God, no matter how others may perceive our quality of life to be. Suffering in this life, united to Christ, can be redemptive. Our sufferings in the Body of Christ, our fasting, our prayers, can all be used to build up the Kingdom of God, and intercede for the world.

Many suffer the purifying state of purgatory, for as Scripture says, there is sin that does not lead to death (1Jn 5:16-17). Yet, nothing unclean can enter heaven (Rev 21:27). Here also is where we can come to terms with the effects of our actions that have been performed with a deficiency of love, even if sin has been forgiven. Here, thanks to Jesus having forgiven the sins that DO lead to death, we can reconcile with our human imperfections, and how we have affected others, and prepare fully for the piercing light of heaven. Purgatory is part of the justice of God, when hell is unmerited, but imperfections need to be worked through.

Hell is also there as part of the justice of God, an eternal destination for those that wilfully and persistently, implicitly and explicitly, reject God and goodness, to the very last breath, and refuse Mercy. Of course, all judgement is for God alone, and nobody on this earth can declare or judge that any specific person has been condemned to hell. Yet, hell is a very real part of the 'four last things.'

Heaven too is real, and it is here that those who suffer injustice in this life receive their vindication. There is no injustice in the realm of eternity. All things that begin here will end there. For the unbeliever, and perhaps even for the believer that has fallen away from a prayerful relationship with God, life can seem to be unjust.

With the eyes of eternity, one can receive the peace to continue to do what is right, and do it with great joy, even in the face of much wrongdoing and disaster. All will be reconciled in eternity.

"Blessed are those that hunger and thirst to see righteousness prevail. They will be satisfied!" (Matt 5:6)

If not in this life, certainly in the next, when all lines converge and meet, and true justice prevails.

Re-establishing Communication

On arrival at my recent residential study weekend in Birmingham, I learned of a marriage, a death and a birth, each affecting the lives of some of my classmates in different ways.

It led nicely into my lectures on Fall and Redemption. Beautiful images of the re-birth and redemption of man from spiritual death, by the Bridegroom of the Church, echoed the varying degrees of news that I had earlier received upon arrival.

The issues of evolution and polygenism, I found to be particularly relevant today. In these areas, there is much misunderstanding and unnecessary conflict, even among Catholics.

Ultimately, true biological history and true theological matters, will not be in contradiction. Whatever, in the field of natural science, is not entirely irreconcilable with matters of spiritual faith, cannot, as Pope Pius XII showed in Humani Generis (36,37), be summarily dismissed as error, unless absolutely proven to be so. The research goes on. True science and true religion are friends (cf CCC159). See also my post here.

Although nothing is clear, and much remains open, what I learned has helped my mind to tie up some loose ends.

Another metaphor presented itself to me at that weekend, and illustrated its content. On the way to Maryvale (my college), I had managed to render my cellphone useless by dropping it into a toilet.

Later, when I wanted to contact my loved one, and went to use the payphone at Maryvale, the payphone had vanished. In the end, I had to ask a classmate to let me use their phone.

My original relationship of loving communication went down the toilet, so to speak, and I was 'cut off.' I could not re-establish communication solely through my own efforts (the phone was not there), and so I needed to seek and find a 'mediator' (my classmate), who let me speak to my loved one, through their phone.

Today, I can speak to my Loved One, through the greatest means of communication available to man: Jesus Christ, the 'ladder' that reaches from earth to heaven (Gen 28:12, Jn 1:51). And when I fall back into sin, He is always ready with His 'phone' in hand.

For Helen's Mom...

Today I post in solidarity with Helen, who hosts the blog Random Musings, and I celebrate the life of her mother, who has passed on from this world.

Helen, we are here for you!

The image of the yellow rose has been taken from Helen's own post, and I thought it would be fitting, through our own blogs, to create a 'bunch' of yellow roses in honour of Helen's mom.

Plant a blog rose for Helen today!

Three Degrees of Unification

I want to share more from the Diary of St. Faustina today. There are two parts, and the second part seems to serve as an illustration of the first. The first part is the following words that a priest preached to St. Faustina…

"There are three degrees in the accomplishment of God's will; in the first, the soul carries out all rules and statutes pertaining to external observance; in the second degree, the soul accepts interior inspirations and carries them out faithfully; in the third degree, the soul abandoned to the will of God, allows Him to dispose of it freely, and God does with it as He pleases, and it is a docile tool in His hands" (Diary, 444)

The second is from a vision given to St. Faustina soon afterwards…

“Then I saw the Lord Jesus nailed to the Cross. When He had hung on it for a while, I saw a multitude of souls crucified like Him. Then I saw a second multitude of souls, and a third. The second multitude were not nailed to (their) crosses, but were holding them firmly in their hands. The third were neither nailed to (their) crosses nor holding them firmly in their hands, but were dragging (their) crosses behind them and were discontent. Jesus then said to me, "Do you see these souls? Those who are like Me in the pain and contempt they suffer will be like Me also in glory. And those who resemble Me less in pain and contempt will also bear less resemblance to Me in glory." (Diary, 446)

In the first degree, it seems that one is faithful to rituals and rules, which is good, as obedience is a great and necessary virtue. However, if one does not love, nor understand the love (and the Person) behind the rules and statutes, then, as in the vision, the Cross will be heavy and dragging in one’s life, and it will be borne with discontent, as one’s heart and intellect have not yet worked together to come to Jesus and learn from Him, as His yoke is easy and His burden light (Matt 11:29-30). The yoke of the Cross will still be there, but it will fit better and be borne with a loving lightness of heart. Love, understanding and faith, will turn 'rituals and rules' into a willing and joyful participation, rather than a heavy and grudging burden.

In the second degree, there is more of a personal relationship that obeys not just externals, but also interior and personal direction and inspiration. In the vision, this is likened to holding the Cross firmly in one’s hands. There is a love in grasping the wood of the Cross, but one has left oneself the means to let go, if it gets to be too much. There is not the pain and self-sacrificing abandonment represented by the nails. It is easy to grasp the Cross, and make requests of God, and this is good. But when faith requires tough decisions, it can be set aside for a time. In the parable of the sower, this represents the seed that grew until the thorns (pressures of the world’s ways) came and ‘choked’ them (Lk 8:14).

In the third degree, there is total docility to the will of God, and such abandonment of self-will that, rather than walking with Christ as a companion for much of the way, now the soul becomes united to Christ, nailed to the Cross with Him, so that, wherever He goes, now His friend goes. This does not mean an abandonment of all that makes one a unique human individual. The opposite happens. It allows Jesus to blossom and bring to fulfilment all that each person was uniquely created to be. In one of the great paradoxes of Christianity, you become more yourself by dying to self.

There is a great price in the third degree, but also a great glory. When one gets on a plane, it is a total abandonment. You can’t get off, you can’t fully see where you’re going, nor know how to get there. You must trust the pilot and stay in the moment, yet look at how quickly simply being on the plane brings you to your destination.

Letting go is difficult. I hate flying! I get so nervous. Abandoning control goes against every fibre of my fallen nature. Yet there is such a freedom in it, and a great reward. I pray today for the grace to move closer and closer to the ‘third degree’ and be able to truly say and mean with all my heart: ‘Here I am Lord, I come to do your will’ (Ps 40:7-8).

Trusting His Judgement ... and His Mercy

While reading St. Faustina’s Diary in the early hours of this morning, I came across an entry that gave me a new understanding of Matt 7:1 “Do not judge and you will not be judged.”

The Scripture, and the verses following, relate on the surface to judgement of others, but can there be a deeper meaning also? I believe so.

In the Diary, the Lord asks Faustina to write on a page these words: “From today on, my own will does not exist...from today on I do the will of God everywhere, always, and in everything” (Diary, 374)

As Faustina wrote this, the Lord spoke these words to her: “From today on, do not fear God’s judgement, for you will not be judged.”

My mind immediately tied in self-will with being open to judgement, and it all made so much sense. If she is only following God (in her case, as a nun, through obedience to her religious superiors) then of course there is no judgement, there is only God's plan, and God's plan is not subject to judgement. In making that decision of abandoning her self-will, Faustina truly became one with Jesus, allowing Him to lead her fully.

The Catholic Church wisely teaches that for any action to be morally good, it is not only the intention that must be good, but the means and circumstances also.

When we seek to do God’s will, a good ‘end’ or intention, cannot justify a morally bad means of bringing it about. We may desire something good, and take immoral shortcuts to get it, but our vision is limited. See, we can only perceive limited consequences, even when actions are ordered to a perceived good, such as the telling of a ‘white lie,’ or the breach of copyright to spread the Lord’s message, or any number of seemingly benign examples.

When all things are done properly, and all components of the act are good, then the consequences we cannot foresee are ‘covered,’ so to speak. The blanks are filled in. God, who sees all, and has given us both natural and revealed morality, expects us to follow such ways, in means, as well as in ends, even if other ways seem to be easier and make more sense in today’s world.

Almost as an illustration (and apologies to all cat lovers - I am one myself), I went to pick up my car from the garage today. The mechanic told me there was a dead cat stuck in my engine, and it had been there for some time. The poor thing had sought the perceived good of warming itself up, and everything looked immediately safe. Being a cat, it could not have foreseen the engine roaring into life and killing it.

As rational human beings there are things that we too, even with our powers of reason, are unable to foresee, which is why God asks our obedience and trust. There are 'engines' out there that may roar into life unexpectedly and surprise us out of our warm beds. God wants to protect us from that.

When we decide to do something, whether others are involved or not, we are making a judgement. If that judgement involves, at any level, what is opposed to faith or morals, then, as well as demonstrating a mistrust of God and His ways, we are also setting the ‘standard’ mentioned in Matt 7:2 to be measured against ourselves.

Perhaps a paraphrasing of this particular understanding of Matt 7:1 would be “Do not judge (anything that I have declared to be wrong to be right), and you will not (open yourself to) be judged (for judging it to be permissible to take objectively immoral steps, even towards a perceived good end).

In other words... I imagine Jesus saying: “trust me, and follow me...in every action, in every decision, in every moment, and my plan will go forth. It may not be easy, it may even be painful and frustrating at times, but it will be worth it. It all comes together in the end, and you have an important part to play. Can I trust you?”

As if to confirm my little lesson in the small hours, I happened to notice the date that St. Faustina had written that particular paragraph number 374. It was February 4th, 1935. Seventy five years ago today!

The Divine Mercy image bears the words: Jesus, I trust in you.
In every decision, I need to try to live that statement out.
When however, in my humanity, I fail in my judgements, and fail to trust Him, then I can confidently trust in His great Mercy!

I think it is important to add that, as Scripture says, God works everything together for good for those who love Him. This includes those that love God implicitly by loving what is good, and seeking to do good, even if they may not know God. It also means those that know God, but may not have yet come to a fuller knowledge or understanding of His will for mankind.

I know I certainly have grown in faith and understanding since my conversion, yet God still lovingly helped me to grow and serve, even when objectively making mistakes with good intentions. I am speaking about objective morality in this post. Personal responsibility and culpability for moral acts is ultimately between each person and God.

For me, as a Catholic seeking for some years to walk closer with the Lord, and learning more about Him, I need to become more trustworthy to Jesus by responding more and more in obedience, trust, and love, to what I know, so that more of His Kingdom can come through me. The time for childish faith has passed, the time for child-LIKE faith and trust is here.

Ideally, faith and reason will work together to help us to make our decisions with confidence. Often though, we may be literally asked to just make a leap of faith, trusting that reason will come later.

God's mercies are new every morning......and all is well.

“It is of the LORD'S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness”. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

A few people I know, including myself, just had one of those days yesterday. Such days may happen where we feel we just can’t “take it” anymore and we start questioning everything. We may question God’s direction in our lives, and feel like the bottom is suddenly falling out beneath us. Yes, this is sometimes the stuff of bad days. We all have them.

I was tired and hurting regarding a work issue that took place. It’s amazing what scenarios we may concoct in our mind when we can’t see the big picture. As far as I knew in my heart and mind, I had done everything exactly the way I should have. I knew from my perspective I was correct in calling an issue to the carpet. However, I didn’t have the full perspective I needed. I didn’t see the big picture. And there is no way I could have, but this is where the Lord’s mercy can come in.

All I knew to do was to pray last night. I asked God specifically for mercy over the whole situation. I asked for His wisdom and direction. I knew it was out of my hands at this point.

So, this morning I went to work and I received a swift, tearful apology. Not that this is required all the time, but it helps. It helps a lot. I was amazed. I had no idea what to expect and I was ready for anything.

As I began to speak with the person who apologized, suddenly the bigger picture became apparent and I had a whole new perspective. This person had actually had a much worse day in comparison to mine. As I listened I felt compassion and concern for their situation. They also gave me some insight as to why they handle things a certain way…and this I didn’t initially understand.

Beyond things turning out well….this is what I love…..is that God was all over this. In my spirit I just knew it. I have experienced this before regarding God’s mercy. It actually feels like God has played a trump card on any ill will or evil ..… and what was meant for our destruction has instead worked out for our good. We are actually better off than before the difficulties happened. What was meant to bring division and discord has actually brought greater understanding and compassion toward those involved.

I picture God’s mercy sometimes as Him looking down from a high place (although He is also in the midst of us) and considering all that is going on that we can’t see. He considers perhaps our love for Him and that we are doing the best that we can in any given situation. Perhaps with a wave of His hand even, He says, “Ok, I’m going to step in here as this is not going in the right direction in fulfilling My purpose”. If it wasn’t for the Lord’s mercy every morning we would surely buckle under the weight of our fallen nature. It is because Jesus has saved us that we don’t buckle and fall, unable to get up again. He gives us His strength and compassion to endure…… and to start over.

And in the joy we have in experiencing His mercy….it is not just mercy for mercy sake….it is ultimately because of His tremendous love that we are so blessed.

It honestly was like a dark cloud was prevailing yesterday; perhaps even something menacing in the spirit realm was interfering. Right before yesterday’s events I had been in the car returning to work from running an errand. I felt a sudden need to pray…and was interceding in the Spirit strongly for about twenty minutes. Looking back I wonder if this had something to do with it.

God’s mercy…… ever before us, behind us, and in the midst of us,....now and forever.

All is well…and all will be well.

Seeing With the Eyes and Heart of Jesus

I would like to share something that is very dear to my heart.

Ever since I had my conversion experience in which the Holy Spirit "moved in" if you will, I have noticed over the years that there have been some changes in my perception of things. When Jesus comes to us to reside within our inner most being, I believe we at times see with His eyes and feel what He feels regarding the world around us.

It’s as if a whole new world is opened up to us beyond what we normally were able to comprehend in the past. Seeing with the eyes of the Spirit is just that, the converted soul is able to see beyond the here and now. It is able to see eternal things.

I think a big thing for me is that I can at times see other people how Jesus sees them…and it’s an amazing thing. Mostly I have kept this to myself, and it has become such a normal part of my every day experience. Also, it comes with a deep burden or even pain at times, as my eyes are opened to who certain people are meant to be or become. Yet, they may be in darkness in their heart and mind for a variety of reasons. If only they could know how Jesus sees them…and who He created them to be.

I think this particularly hits home with me, as in looking back I see how Jesus took me from such darkness and set me free. I allowed Him to show me things I never would have imagined in a million years. I was in a prayer meeting one night years ago…and this precise prophetic word was given to me: “I will show you things that you can’t even imagine.” And my dear friends, He has…..He certainly has remained faithful to His promise. And many times this concerns His love for other people. The Lord's heart is so beautiful...and filled with such depth. This He can impart to us if we let Him.

A particular instance comes to mind. Not long ago I went out with my sisters for a night on the town. As we were leaving a dance club, I was sort of walking behind them and enjoying their laughter and back and forth banter. When the three of us get together we are quite funny actually. I noticed how we looked so “east coast” wearing our long black coats and black boots. As we left the club, there was a young man putting trash in a bin from another night spot across the alley. My sisters immediately went over to him and said hello…and then good night to him. They didn’t think anything of it, but I could tell by the look on the man’s face it seemed to really make his night that someone would go out of their way to say hello to him. I saw a warm smile appear on his face as he lifted his head with a look of surprise. I immediately felt the Lord’s pleasure in this. Not anyone else coming out of the club even noticed he was there.

We all walked on for a bit soon passing a parking garage on the way to look for a cab. Again, there was a young man tending to customers and their cars, but he wasn’t busy at the moment. My sisters walked into the garage from the sidewalk, and began to include him in an ongoing conversation about professional boxing that had started a block away. You could tell this was something this young man was very familiar with by his welcoming of the conversation! You could tell by the look on his face that this was putting some gladness into his night. He was smiling from ear to ear. I was still standing on the sidewalk taking this in, when I immediately felt the Lord’s pleasure again….and it was almost if I could feel Him looking through my eyes. His presence just suddenly seemed stronger. There were many groups of people walking all around us as the clubs were closing, and no one else came in to speak to this man.

As we all continued to walk toward finding a cab, I pondered how the Lord took pleasure in what He just saw. I felt His love for my sisters….and His compassion toward people in general…and the pleasure He feels when we show the smallest act of kindness toward others….especially strangers.

What I love too is that even though there was the occasional socially acceptable profanity spoken, cigarette smoke wafting, and a slight buzz going (none of us were drunk…and I wasn’t even buzzed really ;) ), Jesus certainly wasn’t too concerned about it…nor did He seem to hear it. What He loved was the kindness shown to a stranger, and the fellowship of laughter and friendly banter. And this has been my experience with Jesus when it comes to other people, that He is often not too offended by the things many of those who claim to follow Him are. I’m not advocating those things that some might find offensive….I’m just sayin’.

I see true greatness in many people…and I feel such a depth of emotion that they can’t see it or grasp how Jesus loves them….and KNOWS them. I cannot even find words for what I feel. He wants them to know Him in the same way. My sisters have probably forgotten that night, and to them it wasn’t a big deal. However I know the King of Kings was greatly pleased. I wonder about all the times we have forgotten where we may have done something that pleased Jesus.

What I have written about is only one example of many. Oh dear Jesus, help me reach your children as they come across my path. We are truly His hands, His feet, and His heart on earth. Whatever you do the least of these, you do it for Him.